I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
