Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
