She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
