smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
