piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
