sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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