My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
