This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
