I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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