fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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