this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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