if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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