Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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