Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
