I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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