Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
