omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
