I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
