Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
