Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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