i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This girl is more easily done than said...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
