I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
