i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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