It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
