Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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