how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
