These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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