i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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