How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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