well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
