i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
