I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
