What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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