I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Found the puke drawer
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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