I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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