I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
