Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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