butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
