new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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