Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
