Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
