just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
