What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
