im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
