It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
only you would photoshop your dick
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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