You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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