Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
