dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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