I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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