dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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