i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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