Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
