no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
