Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
