I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
