Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize