Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
where am i from again
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
