Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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