Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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