R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
