I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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